


Finding Answers

by Maeple



Series: Touriko Week 2018 [4]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Bisexual Kosaka Yoriko, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Kirishima Touka, Love Confessions, Questioning, Swearing, Touriko Week, Touriko Week 2018, they're gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-30 05:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15745140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeple/pseuds/Maeple
Summary: The question caught Touka off guard, but she had to wonder--whydidshe love Yoriko so much?ForTouriko WeekDay 4 (posted ontumblr)Prompts:Magic/Discovery/"That's not what I meant!"





	Finding Answers

It was a sudden question, such a sudden question, and Touka still berated herself for being caught off guard by it.

"Touka... I was just wondering, but if you're so... against humans, then why... why do you like Yoriko so much?" Kaneki asked one day as he cleaned the dishes.

Touka paused from where she was wiping down the counter. She set the white rag down, turning to face him as she leaned against the cold surface.

What the hell?

How could she even answer that? What was she  _supposed_  to say?

Touka opened her mouth, but she couldn't find it in herself to give a straight answer as usual.

_Why do you like Yoriko so much?_

The dark-haired ghoul stood there, facing Kaneki, who nervously went back to hand-drying a cup, gaze flickering between it and Touka.

A beat.

"Because she's my friend," Touka snapped, whipping around and snatching up her rag to go clean elsewhere.

That was as good of an answer as any, right? she asked herself as she went to wipe down one of the tables in the Anteiku.

To be honest, Touka didn't quite know herself. Why  _did_  she like Yoriko so much?

Maybe it was because Yoriko, unlike most, was considerate. Yeah. She was always taking other people into consideration, like how they might feel or how they'd react. And maybe Touka could admire that about her. So what? Even she could appreciate decent personalities.

But it didn't mean anything, did it?

Of course not. Kaneki was just being absurd, looking way too far into things than he should. She narrowed her eyes in annoyance as she scrubbed at the table.

She was not disturbed by Kaneki for the rest of the evening shift.

 

When she got back from school the next day, Yoriko followed her up the stairs to her apartment. Touka dumped her bag on the floor before crouching down to rummage through it.

Yoriko set hers down too to get some of her notes out.

"Alright, Touka, want me to quiz you?" Yoriko offered, smiling.

Touka sat on the bed and turned her notes face-down beside her. Yoriko sat next to her, swinging her legs as she began to drill Touka on today's lesson in biology. Because frankly, as much as Touka wanted to study it, she had a long ways to go for the test tomorrow.

Except, every time Yoriko tried to help Touka study, it always failed in some way. Touka got lost in thought, or forgot what the question was, or she blanked or wasn't listening.

And it was all Yoriko's fault.

Despite how plain one might say she looked, Yoriko was anything but. She had such a pretty smile, and warm, expressive eyes. She was always playing with her hair in some way, curling it around a finger, braiding small parts of it, running her hand through it, and Touka thought it was stunning on her. She had hair that endearingly framed her face, making her appear more child-like than she was.

Touka always thought girls were really pretty, but of course they were. It was just a given that the women she saw on TV were more attractive than the male models or actors. To Touka, there just couldn't be anyone in the world who couldn't look at some of those female models and think, 'wow, she's gorgeous!' not in a jealous way.

But Yoriko was something else. She was cute and attractive and had a warm and welcoming personality. Yoriko had this way of drawing Touka in, lowering her guard and melting the walls of her heart.

Touka was afraid. Not of humans, but being betrayed by them. Again. One too many times.

And Yoriko, she was dangerous. She got Touka to open up in ways that Touka didn't even realize until it was too late the next day, or got her to admit things without even doing anything. There was just this sense of closeness and familiarity with Yoriko that Touka fell for each and every time.

"--Touka?" Yoriko asked, cutting into her thoughts.

See?

"--Sorry. I kinda spaced out..." Touka apologized. "What was that?"

"What are the main functions of..."

Touka didn't know if she answered correctly or not, but she did mutter something as an answer before getting distracted again. By those eyes that kept staring at her. Those brown, gentle eyes that neither accused nor skipped over her, but simply  _saw._

It was cheesy, but Touka wondered for a moment if it was actually possible to get lost in someone's eyes. And maybe even drown in their depths.

Yoriko asked and Touka answered, and before she knew it, a whole hour had passed and they were doing homework instead of studying.

"Ugh. I'm no good at math," Yoriko whined, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed, the math packet resting on one of their textbooks.

Touka sat next to her, head leaned back against the mattress. "Don't ask me." She picked up the calculator and reentered the equation.

Nishiki offered to help her with math, but Yoriko was around and--yeah.

_Why do you like Yoriko so much?_

Touka froze when the thought came back to her, finger poised over one of the buttons.

The girls at school liked to talk about famous male actors, liked to gossip about boybands sometimes.

Touka had never been particularly interested.

She had never been, especially not in famous people or some TV drama. But if she had to, she'd much rather talk about her favorite female musician, or the girl that played her favorite character. Sometimes, if someone was talked about enough, Touka could convince herself she decently liked the actor or the male lead or the guy on guitar.

Every year since high school, no matter how much Touka avoided the conversation, another girl would always ask her if there was a boy she liked (after talking about her own crush, of course). Touka would always pick out one guy from the class at the start of the school year, just so she would have an answer that they would believe (whenever she shrugged, said she didn't, they laughed and said there must be _someone_ ). Touka didn't really want to be caught up in their antics, but she always thought maybe it was because she just didn't want to be involved with humans.

Well, Touka might have had a discovery, in that small moment.

She recalled one girl in the hallway, showing her friend a picture of some dude. "Just look at him!" she exclaimed. Her friend nodded in agreement.

_Just look at him._

Well, just look at Yoriko.

That was basically how she felt, right?

Touka swallowed, setting the calculator down. "What was the answer?" Yoriko asked.

"Uh--sorry, Iet me see," Touka said. Her mouth was dry as she picked it back up and pressed the answer button.

Yoriko shot her a look before writing the numbers down on her paper.

"Um--Touka?" she asked quietly after a moment.

"Yeah?" the ghoul asked in mild surprise.

"Um... I-I know this might not be the right time... or something... but..." Yoriko trailed off as she set her pencil down.

Just what was this about?

"Uh, if I don't say it now... I don't think... I'll ever manage to try..."

Touka stiffened.

Yoriko seemed to steel herself, biting her lip. "Touka... I think... I think I might be bisexual," she rushed. She sucked in a breath as she waited for Touka's reaction, like she was some sort of bomb just anticipating to go off.

Touka blinked.

That wasn't what she was expected. "Uh--that's--that's great, Yoriko!" Touka gave a small smile. "I-I mean, uh, not 'great', but, I - that's not what I meant! I mean, it is, but--uh..."

Yoriko looked down at her math problems, expression falling. "I-I'm sorry if I... made things awkward. That was really... unexpected. Sorry."

"No, no!" Touka rushed to correct herself. "I-it's totally fine! I just... wasn't uh..."

Yoriko gave a small nod, still deflating like a balloon. Touka's heart dropped.

Shit.

She really messed this one up.

"Sorry..." Yoriko said softly, reaching for her bag. "I think--I think I should leave now--"

"Wait, no!" Touka grabbed her hand as she got up. Yoriko ducked her head, pressing her lips into a thin line, but slowly sat back down. She wouldn't look at Touka.

"I... Yoriko..." Touka floundered for words. Shit. "Um... I was actually... thinking I might not..." she trailed off. Be straight, she wanted to finish, but she just couldn't say it.

Yoriko hung back, and Touka's heart broke when she realized the brunette was wiping away tears.

"I mean... I'm also... not straight," Touka blurted.

Yoriko finally looked up, eyes slightly red. "Oh..." she said.

Damn it. What if Touka wasn't actually? What if she was just mistaking her interest or lack thereof? Was she lying?

But when Yoriko gave her a small, hopeful smile, Touka's heart melted. Yeah. She definitely wasn't lying. It was probably pretty gay to feel this way about your best friend. God. How had she not even realized it sooner?

It actually made a lot of sense, when she thought about it that way.

Touka swallowed. "So--um... would you... be interested in... like... going out with me, sometime?" She bit her lip and waited.

Out of all the reactions, Touka had not expected a laugh.

"Of course, Touka," the human replied, that warm smile blossoming on her face. She let out another chuckle, wiping at her eyes.

"Yoriko--what's wrong?" Touka asked. God, she had done something, hadn't she? Was it what she said? She knew she handled it poorly, but--

"I'm just... really happy," Yoriko breathed as Touka awkwardly went in to hug her.

Touka didn't like emotional situations, mostly because she didn't know how to deal with them.

She felt a pang of guilt. Really happy? Yoriko sounded relieved more than anything. Just how long had Yoriko been wanting to say that?

"When I'm this close, I can--hear you thinking, you idiot," Yoriko murmured as she hugged Touka back, her voice breaking. "I really am happy, Touka. I wanted to ask you that for a long time, and instead it was you who asked."

Touka exhaled.

_Why do you like Yoriko so much?_

_Because I love her,_ Touka decided.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <33


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